The Great Time Audit of a Chief Procrastinator

One fine day, while I was expertly avoiding actual work, a wild thought appeared: "How much time do I really have in a week?" So, I did what any sensible procrastinator would do - I audited my time. And guess what? There are 168 hours in a week! Who knew? (Well, probably everyone, but let's pretend it's a groundbreaking discovery).

Sleep: The Dreamy Escape

Let's start with sleep. They say 8 hours a night is ideal, but who are we kidding? With the allure of late-night scrolling through cat videos, I'm lucky if I hit 6-7 hours. But for the sake of healthy living (and to appease my coffee addiction), let's stick to the 8-hour theory.

Work: The Necessary Evil

As an entrepreneur blessed with mostly automated businesses, my work-life balance leans heavily towards 'life.' A flexible 40-hour work week includes 10 hours of learning (disguised as work). But beware, this flexibility is a double-edged sword, leading to procrastination that could rival an Olympic sport.

Exercise: The Half-Marathon Mirage

I have aspirations for a half marathon, which I often visualise while munching on chips. Allocating 10 hours a week for exercise seems ambitious but let's jot it down. Who knows? Miracles happen.

Mindfulness: The Villa Conundrum

Then comes my childhood commitment to Aston Villa - a relationship more demanding than any high school sweetheart. With games potentially every day, thanks to the whims of Sky Sports, balancing Villa, family time, and personal mindfulness is like solving a Rubik's Cube blindfolded.

The Astonishing Math of Time

Let’s crunch some numbers: Awake for 112 hours, minus 50 hours for work, learning, and aspiring exercise, and 5 hours for 'mindfulness' (a.k.a daydreaming about exercise). That leaves us with a whopping 57 hours - 2.4 whole days!

In this ocean of time, I could binge-watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (9.3 hours) and still have time to pretend I'm training for that half marathon. I could watch 38 Villa matches in that time, a complete Premier League season! But more importantly, my family and I could take that hour each way drive to spend two hours walking up and down Cardimall Valley 14 times over (my 7-year-old would rather watch paint dry, but the rest of us would have a great time).

The Moral of the Story

The point is that time is a quirky, malleable friend. Respect it, plan it, and suddenly, you'll find enough of it to juggle work, hobbies, Villa matches, and quality family time. 

Remember, a failure to plan is planning to fail in a time loop of your own making.

Here’s a fun equation for you:

Free Time = (24 hours x 7 days) - (Sleep + Work + Exercise + Mindfulness)

Plug in your numbers, and you might just be surprised at the time you actually have!

So, dear reader, as you navigate the time-space continuum of your own life, take a leaf out of this chief procrastinator's book. Audit your time, laugh at the absurdity, and maybe, just maybe, find that time is on your side after all.